


Peace

by origins



Series: Stranger Things Have Happened [1]
Category: Stranger Things (TV 2016)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Angst with a Happy Ending, F/F, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-28
Updated: 2019-07-28
Packaged: 2020-07-12 15:48:34
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply, Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,893
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19948783
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/origins/pseuds/origins
Summary: Nancy doesn't understand until she does.





	Peace

**Author's Note:**

> This was a mess. I never did watch season 3 but I do love both Nancy and Robin already and well my multishipper heart got this idea and I had to write it.
> 
> Excuse the shifting POV, just enjoy the story.

Love works in funny ways. At times it makes you think you should be with someone that you half like but you fit perfectly on paper with. Those are the easy ones. They happen fast and fade quickly.

The second version is when the person you think is the love of your life realizes that you aren't his, and okay that hurts a bit, but you're a grown up, you're not going to cry. You're not going to hurt over something so trivial.

Since you were a kid your Mom made it clear that women were the ones who ruled the house so why not be bold and rule over the entire world as well? You'd already taken down the government; everyone else would be a snack.

So you quit working for assholes who don't take you seriously. 

You stop looking for the approval of jerks who don't matter half as much as you want to.

You stop trying to be the perfect version that everyone will want.

This used to scare you when you were a kid, but now that you're older it feels like a new beginning. A reckoning. A fight with life that it can throw whatever shit it wants but you're not going to bend or break.

You're made of steel and stone and were carved and forged in fire.

The world should be the one afraid of dealing with you not the other way around.

It's with this rise of power, of feeling authentic for the first time in a long while when it happens.

You're minding your business, picking up your little brother and his friends from hanging out with Steve. Again.

You're fond of Steve. You half wish you could apologize for hurting him but are afraid that this would open old wounds and make him realize that he can do so much better than you and you never deserved him.

She hates these thoughts. They make her feel weak and stupid and like the old Nancy that she was desperately trying not to be.

But who was she? Outside of the nerd, outside the pretty girl, outside the girl who wants to be herself, who is she?

No one.

This hurts a lot more than it should.

* * *

She's the most beautiful girl you've ever seen in your entire life. She has the kind of beauty you wish you had yourself, but with her its natural. She doesn't even care if she's beautiful or not; this makes her glow like an angel to you.

At certain points in time you think back to when you imagined how sex would feel like. How it would be to enjoy the sex the other girls talked about. The heat and the fire burning hot until climax was reached.

You'd always been a bit cerebral. It wasn't something you did on purpose. It made it easy to blame all your failed relationships on this, but there were times now, when you were alone, in your room, and you'd think of her. It was amazing how quickly and how fast you were able to spark a fire within yourself.

You didn't dare touch yourself at first because it felt strange to think of another girl while masturbating but once you gave way to the anger and annoyance of a bad day and just needed time to relax you allowed your fingers to find their way down the strand of your underwear and gasped once you made contact with your wet heat.

It made you feel alive in a way nothing ever had before.

* * *

Doing this a few more times normalized the attitude for you but it was never enough.

It was never enough until you were drunk and found yourself in the bathroom with Heather Locke who you'd been eyeing for the past hour.

You weren't sure if Heather was laughing at you when you were trying to impress her with how cool you could be, but once you're both alone in the bathroom, kissing with more teeth than was necessary, and she ran her fingers up your dress, teasing you through your underwear until she had you gasping, that's when you were sure she was interested in you, too.

* * *

You tell no one what happened in that bathroom.

(You wish you could tell Barb but that's opening too many wounds and you're not one to dwell in pain. It's not your strong suit.)

* * *

When it's near the end of Summer you think you see Robin jogging in the park but you're running late from volunteering at the library. It doesn't pay but it's something to add in your resume so you're okay with this gig for now.

You are sure you see her the next day when you're going shopping for your Mom to help out at the house. Now that you're a grown up you start to see the triviality of chores for what they are: a way to keep the house clean, a way to find control in the chaos of the world, a way to spend time with family even if its in different rooms but knowing they were there.

Ever since Nancy decided to wait on going off to college, of choosing between the three school that had accepted her-- _thank god_ \--she'd been painfully aware of how human her family was. Her Mom who tried too hard, her Dad who fumbled his way in the dark with unconditional love, baby Holly who was getting taller each year, Mike who was almost, if not worse, a forced to be reckoned with. Seeing her family be so human it does things to her that she can't face but she won't leave them alone.

She won't.

She can't.

She's not.

* * *

It's during one of the few days in Summer, where's its so hot and humid all you need to do is stand outside for a minute and you're already sweating.

It happens when your hair is frizzy and you look ridiculous.

You're determined not to let the heat win as you open the door of the library and you're so set on winning that you bump directly into another body. A peach-smelling, dirty-blonde angel.

You don't mean to gasp. You hate that it was loud in the empty air between the two of you.

"S-sorry." You stutter out and move past her.

You hope she thinks you're a bitch.

(You hope she doesn't.)

(You hope at least she doesn't realize you're into her.)

* * *

The next time you see her you're dropping the kids off with Steve. He's going to watch them that night while they go watch a movie together. You're not a fan of them sneaking into the movie theater, but given the past trauma you're willing to overlook your principles. Just this once. You're not going to enable them into getting their own way. That's not your M.O..

You're about to leave like a coward. You heard her voice when you entered, while you were chatting with Steve and she was talking with your brother. Your brother has more courage then you.

(Coward.)

You are not a coward. 

You're a fighter.

You're a warrior.

You're a badass survivor.

So with this wavering inner strength you wait for Steve to mother hen the kids--he hates being teased about this but he knows he's not being emasculated so at least there's that-- into following the rules when you decide you want ice cream.

Yeah, you want ice cream and you're going to get yourself some ice cream.

"Hey." You say approaching the register, glancing first at the gorgeous girl in front of you then at the list of available ice creams. You can't read for some stupid, idiotic reason.

"What can I help you with?"

Goddamn your heart just skipped a beat and your cheeks feel flushed.

(Damn her and her power over you.)

"Banana split?" Shit that sounded like a question. "Extra sprinkles." Better. You're still a sucker but better.

She smirked, your mouth dropped, she turned away and you're a goner.

* * *

It's Jonathan who helps you accept that you're bisexual.

You had no idea that even was a thing.

(You're half afraid of being bisexual.)

(But then you remember you're not afraid of anything and move on.)

* * *

It's near the beginning of Autumn, there's a nice breeze throughout the day, you feel like you can survive anything now that the heat is over, it's during this small moment of peace, when she entered the library, waved at you in the coolest way and you, dork that you are, wave back excitedly.

(Idiot.)

* * *

School is back in session. You're still not leaving Hawkins.

(You can't)

* * *

You drive the kids to and from school.

You feel like a loser, but at least you're working at the post office and making a hefty amount of money.

You're not sure if you're betraying the old you by working for the man now, but at least you're home, you're making money, you're protecting your family and everyone is alright.

You're golden.

(You're a loser but you're golden.)

* * *

It's during the middle of the Homecoming Dance that you go outside, tears brimming in your eyes, and have a full blown panic attack. 

Everything was fine, nothing was happening, but suddenly seeing all the kids having fun and together made you remember Barb and how much you missed her and how alone you are and how much you hate yourself and--

"Are you okay?"

You don't mean to scream or jump.

You don't mean to do anything girlie or stupid.

You do wipe your tears away as fast as you can.

"Fine. I'm fine."

She etches closer, dressed in a blue dress with yellow polka dots. It's strange, but you don't mind strange. "Yeah?"

"Yeah." You square your shoulders and lift your chin up. "I'm always fine."

She hummed under her breath, shrugging. "Really? I wish I was like that. I'm never fine."

Your mouth drops and your resolve weakens.

"H-How do you deal with it?" 

She shrugged again. "With a distraction." As she's saying the words she's walking closer and you're feeling very warm all of a sudden but you don't want her to be a distraction.

You put your hand over her chest, over her heart, a steady rhythm and blurt out, "I like you!"

She blinked, pulling back.

You drop your hand uselessly beside you and swallow as you step back.

"I don't want a distraction. I just want you."

You look her square in the eye and for the first time she looked stunned.

(You're glad you finally have the upper hand.)

(She had too much control over you.)

Something in her face darkened with determination and then her lips meet yours in the most wonderful kiss you've ever had and you groan as you wrap your arms around her, pulling her as close as humanly possible.

You don't know how long you two kiss all you know is the fervor you feel, the fervor she feels, you feel at ease.

When you both need to pull back because of air--stupid air, ruins everything--her breath hot on your lips you want nothing more than to keep kissing her. She said, "I want you, too."

"Good." That's all you say before you pull her back into the first of many infinite kisses.

You feel at peace.

**Author's Note:**

> Review if this was okay or not. I can never tell.


End file.
